why HELLO there moonglazed-さん!!!! it’s a pleasure to make ur acquaintance!!!!!! (i feel like just being on this site makes me type like an entirely different person it’s so disorienting coming here straight from dc… (/へ＼*)) my yulyul my seeji the pink to my orange (do u get it. yes u get it. u have to get it. this is the burden u carry being xntps tgt), the only other bitch in this house (void with connections to other voids) i respect, who Gets(TM) the appeal of seeing someone be naturally good at the one thing u struggle most with but also the appeal of loving someone exactly like u so u can love urself by proxy without all the mortifying self-introspective bits… it’s starting to feel like ure the dragon lady in game of thrones with all her titles but i’m still missing the most important one: my love!!!! <3
i alr touched on this a little bit bc i get ahead of myself often but yes!!! that’s one of the major appeals of intps to me (or maybe even well-adjusted isfjs… #samecognitivestackthings), that proximity to yourself without ever crossing the border of your internal world. i read this fic yesterday that likened the human self to a house — there’s the “maintenance involved to keep yourself running. kitchens to cook up your ambition, a sitting room for your pride, basements full of ghosts. rooms that were locked. rooms you let other people see. rooms you don’t like to think about” (i recommend this fic w my whole heart btw i think yeonjun’s process of self-acceptance/self-love was kind of similar to my own and i consider us very similar in that regard!!! in other words, i didn’t cry but i felt like crying and that’s all that matters). meeting someone similar to you but Outside of yourself is like… i don’t know, visiting another unit in your apartment. it’s got the same structure with slightly different decor. underneath the carpets and potted plants and paintings you recognise exactly what this place is. there’s a comfort in loving something without ever letting it truly exist within you, in proving you’re capable of it — love, in general. some kind of inward stability. i’m getting ahead of myself…
it means a lot to me that u think i connect to people well TT__TT it’s not news w the whole (gestures) leo moon thing that i want to be liked but i want to be liked in a way i can feel! i don’t have to understand it but i want to feel it. and to feel it i need to connect to the person conveying something to me. honestly growing up as an athlete probably did some Damage I Can’t Yet See bc i loved that feeling so much, of knowing i was liked in some way, that i latched onto the mechanism of it — how to find it, how to cultivate it, how to keep it. in almost a cruel way i feel sometimes. the point being that i don’t look into myself often and other people are usually embarrassed telling u they like u so i don’t get to hear if i’m actually likeable (or connect-able maybe is more accurate) or not.
and on that note… u were never even a single inch off 4 me. i think sometimes u land too well and it startles people. maybe it’s not that they don’t like that you can see them, but that they can see you. i hope u get a job with better coworkers TT___TT i’m punching all of them in the THROATS rn!!!! when will we be free of straight girls w overinflated egos 😭
god this got super long ok i’m wrapping it up now…
sorry for being a lwj liker i guess. actually no i have nothing to apologise for this man is the istj of my dreams. someone i would marry if i were a man… you know the drill. i did consider hving a xiao pfp!!!! bc he’s my baby bird. but i’m so attached to this lwj fa for some reason i can’t let it go… lwj is an istj i would marry and xiao is an istj i would tend to in the terrified reverent way people tend to a sick child. u don’t know if they’re going to make it, but if anyone could make it it’d be them. and they make u pray.
(ALSO? the kitties w kissies? and i thought the perfect kaomoji was my name??!?!)
Re: ᓚᘏᗢ ♡ ᗢᘏᓗ (kitties w kissies)
i alr touched on this a little bit bc i get ahead of myself often but yes!!! that’s one of the major appeals of intps to me (or maybe even well-adjusted isfjs… #samecognitivestackthings), that proximity to yourself without ever crossing the border of your internal world. i read this fic yesterday that likened the human self to a house — there’s the “maintenance involved to keep yourself running. kitchens to cook up your ambition, a sitting room for your pride, basements full of ghosts. rooms that were locked. rooms you let other people see. rooms you don’t like to think about” (i recommend this fic w my whole heart btw i think yeonjun’s process of self-acceptance/self-love was kind of similar to my own and i consider us very similar in that regard!!! in other words, i didn’t cry but i felt like crying and that’s all that matters). meeting someone similar to you but Outside of yourself is like… i don’t know, visiting another unit in your apartment. it’s got the same structure with slightly different decor. underneath the carpets and potted plants and paintings you recognise exactly what this place is. there’s a comfort in loving something without ever letting it truly exist within you, in proving you’re capable of it — love, in general. some kind of inward stability. i’m getting ahead of myself…
it means a lot to me that u think i connect to people well TT__TT it’s not news w the whole (gestures) leo moon thing that i want to be liked but i want to be liked in a way i can feel! i don’t have to understand it but i want to feel it. and to feel it i need to connect to the person conveying something to me. honestly growing up as an athlete probably did some Damage I Can’t Yet See bc i loved that feeling so much, of knowing i was liked in some way, that i latched onto the mechanism of it — how to find it, how to cultivate it, how to keep it. in almost a cruel way i feel sometimes. the point being that i don’t look into myself often and other people are usually embarrassed telling u they like u so i don’t get to hear if i’m actually likeable (or connect-able maybe is more accurate) or not.
and on that note… u were never even a single inch off 4 me. i think sometimes u land too well and it startles people. maybe it’s not that they don’t like that you can see them, but that they can see you. i hope u get a job with better coworkers TT___TT i’m punching all of them in the THROATS rn!!!! when will we be free of straight girls w overinflated egos 😭
god this got super long ok i’m wrapping it up now…
sorry for being a lwj liker i guess. actually no i have nothing to apologise for this man is the istj of my dreams. someone i would marry if i were a man… you know the drill. i did consider hving a xiao pfp!!!! bc he’s my baby bird. but i’m so attached to this lwj fa for some reason i can’t let it go… lwj is an istj i would marry and xiao is an istj i would tend to in the terrified reverent way people tend to a sick child. u don’t know if they’re going to make it, but if anyone could make it it’d be them. and they make u pray.
(ALSO? the kitties w kissies? and i thought the perfect kaomoji was my name??!?!)